Oi! I'm off for a few days to lovely Montreal to see my all-time favourite band in the whole world, The Kingpins. They'll be playing two free shows at 8pm and 10pm on Friday. I'll be the cat sweltering in the dark blue suit with the beautiful girl by my side.



At the end of the night, I go home with her.

Today's random pick was chosen for the sole reason that it has the greatest title in the known multiverse, Return of the Ghost of Ferro Lad. I will defend this blog with my life for its title alone. Little known fact - I once made a Valentine's Day card with Ferro Lad in it. The card said "I sacrificed myself to save Earth from the Sun-Eater!" Then you opened it up and Ferro Lad, leaping into action, says "BE MINE!"

Ferro Lad, we will never forget.
- posted by Steven @ 4:52 a.m.

 
My friend Kevin has become my second referrer. He seems pretty proud about it. Sorry Kev, but second place is first loser. You better step up when I hit one million if you want any recognition.

Kevin also mentions something called the "blogosphere". Apparently I am part of this "blogosphere". Breakin' 2 : Electric Blogosphere.

Kevin's thoughts are good fodder. He couldn't tell if it was "blogosphere" or "blogsphere", so he did a "google search". Amazing! I decided I would do a "google search" of my own, answer a question that's been bothering me, and help reach my goal of one million customers.

Nude - about 43,900,000
Naked - about 26,000,000
Nekkid - about 110,000

Aha! Nude wears the crown, with Naked at a little more than half that. The people obviously prefer Nude. However, Nekkid, the superior word, is barely in use. Another search confirms this disparity.

Nude Roseanne Barr - 13
Naked Roseanne Barr - 5
Nekkid Rosanne Barr - 0

You know what this means? There's a whole untapped market out there for Nekkid porno sites! Sure, there's a few (definitely not work safe), but someone with a bit of initiative can corner the market on the upcoming Nekkid landslide! I've said too much!

It took me something like 10 minutes and two dozen stabs to finally find a decent blog via the Fresh Blogs selection. Doesn't anyone use capital letters anymore? While the title created expectations of light-hearted whimsy, I Live In A Giant Bucket is actually the blog of a very angry person who swears an incredible amount. Even better! Personal blogs usually bore the fuck out of me (including the one you're reading right now) but Not Too Shabby manages on taking a little thing like the character reference phone call, adding the words "Molotov Cocktail" and making it worth reading. Plus, she smiles at dogs. The world needs more people who smile at dogs.
- posted by Steven @ 5:13 a.m.

 
Hossanah! My pal from across the pond, the feisty KookyMojo, is the first person to link to this blog. Congratulations, Kooky! Your standing will only be eclipsed by our one millionth customer, though that's still hours away. Days, weeks even! Until then, bask in this newfound glory.



Oh, happy days! That dark-haired blur at the bottom is Kooky. Directly above her are, from left to right, my brother and myself. And the partially obscured bespectacled blur in the lower-right is Betty Woo. Taken in an arcade photo booth on Yonge Street sometime, whenever. Quarters!

I was sold on today's random Blog selection, Bob Boze Bell's Big Bad Book of Big Bad Diary Entries, within the first three sentences. "Really nice Sunday at home yesterday. Redeemed a landscape painting with a neutral blue sky (found it in a stack of discards). May add a rider at the bottom."

Anyone who paints sun-kissed vistas, quotes Mark Twain and goes for two walks in one night is alright by me. Hell, if his magazine True West is half as pleasantly ornery as his blog, I'll have to go buy a copy.


- posted by Steven @ 4:48 a.m.

 
I'm having the hardest time thinking of fellow blogs to link to. My other blog is packed to the gills with them, and I might just transfer a few over. Don't want to overlap much between the two, otherwise some people's head's will begin to swell.

In the meantime, I struck upon the idea of checking out Blogger's Fresh Blogs listings. These are their most recently published blogs. It was actually a little disheartening. Now I understand why people make remarks on the quality of blogging.

Our first two victims are April Skies Are In Your Eyes-Darling Don't Be Blue and Offscourings. Or a little bit of love found and intimacy lost, respectively, I guess.

While we're on the topic, notice the Randomize! button in the upper right portion of the blog. This delightful little device allows you to sample a completely random link from somewhere in the mess of my writings. That is, if you want to bypass all my meanderings and get the Hell out of here, there are worse ways to go. Be warned that you may just end up back at one of my archived posts. Thems the breaks. This piece of fun was brought to you by Tom Coates of Plastic Bag.
- posted by Steven @ 4:58 a.m.

 
Who are the Sons Of Lee Marvin? Damned if I'm telling.



This page is about all you're going to find out, and it's probably about enough. Don't get cocky.

- posted by Steven @ 8:47 p.m.

 
I picked up a harmonica the other day. Spent a full two minutes just now debating over whether the soft "h" of harmonica made it vowel-worthy, and whether I should put an "a" or "an" in front of the word.

I lost my last two harmonicas. The first one out in a vacant lot behind my house in Welland. The second just recently, somewhere in my mess of a room. They were both smaller than the average harmonica, and learning to play the damn things was ten times harder than normal. This latest one is just right.

I bought a new harmonica because even though I'm spoiled for choice when it comes to expressing myself, I never seem particularly satisfied. That's why I've made this blog, I suppose. I have another one, but it's very topic-specific. Trust me, if you've made it this far you wouldn't be interested in my other blog. And if you've found this blog through the other, then you've probably read far enough to know this isn't for you. I won't pretend that this isn't for me, and just for me.

Sometimes what you want to say steps outside of your normal way of expressing things, and you have to pick up a harmonica, or start a new blog. And somedays you realize you don't have anything to say to anyone but yourself, but that's all the audience that you need.

My last two harmonicas had names. I need a name for this new one.
- posted by Steven @ 8:33 p.m.